Adjusting Your Emotions

"A couple of months ago things were so stressful at work that everyone – including me – was tense all the time. By the time I got home I was completely drained and wanted nothing more than go straight to bed."

Does the above scenario sound at least a little familiar? Can you identify with the premise if not the specific situation? If so, how long was it before your mood lifted? Did you have a serious talk with yourself, trying to convince yourself to focus on something – anything – else? Consider the last you found yourself really angry or down. When you think back on it, do you recall that your emotions slowed you down or perhaps even crippled you emotionally for days or weeks?

People always want to know if there’s a quick fix to resetting your emotional state, and the answer is yes in most cases. I know that when you’re upset it can feel like an additional challenge or effort to think happier thoughts, feel love, or experience joy. And if you can’t do those things, you often find that you end up attracting more of the same.

In 2005 the terrific book Ask and It Is Given introduced the idea of "moving up your emotional scale." The Emotional Scale, developed by authors Esther and Jerry Hicks, invites you to:

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Meeting Needs with NVC

There’s no one on the planet who hasn’t been in a situation wherein tempers and/or emotions escalated – perhaps even dramatically – due to miscommunication or poor communication. When this has happened in your own life, you’ve likely looked back on it afterwards and wondered how things got so out of control. You might even have tried to determine who was to blame fr the bad communication , or perhaps you ended up pursuing avenues of explanation that resulted in self-doubt or justifications for the communication mishap and resulting behavior.

A colleague introduced me to three levels of communication that have served as a reminder that I shouldn’t automatically accept everything I hear at face value. Given that I’d had a lifetime of communication by the time the colleague pointed this out, it’s ironic that this idea actually sounded like a new piece of information to me. The three levels of communication explain even further why we shouldn’t accept everything we hear at face value. Those levels are:

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Attitudes that Don't Foster Success

Success is attainable for those who seek it with both their thoughts and their actions. Unfortunately, people tend to give significantly more attention to their actions, not remembering that their thoughts and attitudes can dramatically impact their failure and success. Too often the negative messages we hear while we’re growing up and our overall conditioning further contribute to anti-success attitudes. For example, you likely have a negative attitude toward success if you repeatedly encountered the following types of messages while growing up:

• Don’t expect too much; you’ll just be disappointed in the end.


• You’re not good enough to deserve good things.


• Life is about dealing with problems.


• People are out to pull you down with them, not pick you up.


• Your capabilities are limited.


• When you don’t expect anything good from a situation, you’re being practical.


• “Optimism” is just another word for wishful thinking.

While these specific messages might seem harsh, peers and parents often unwittingly pass them along via their own attitudes and actions. For instance, constantly comparing one sibling to another can make one feel as though she can’t measure up or has only limited talents and abilities. Beliefs like this breed low self-esteem and ultimately result in failure.

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