Revisiting the Seven Habits

It’s been almost a decade since I read the infamous self-help book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, but it’s such a helpful tool that it came as no real surprise when I recently felt compelled to re-read it. As I did so, I found myself wondering if I had addressed or implemented the particular habit introduced in each new chapter. By the time I finished those chapters, I was delighted to find that I had, in fact, embraced them since my initial reading of the book. Of course, I had also adapted the suggestions or guidelines in the book concerning the habits to tailor them to my own unique needs and experiences. This discovery reminded me that we each determine our own level of success.

Covey encourages readers of his best seller, which has sold 15 million-plus copies in almost 40 languages since its first printing in 1991, to embrace the seven habits he outlines so they can implement them in their own lives to increase their success or effectiveness as well as become more satisfied with their accomplishments at the end of an established time frame. I think that almost all people can benefit tremendously from Covey’s book, whether it be in their personal life, professional life, or both. Indeed, reading and expanding your awareness of new trends, thoughts, and perspectives is an important part of embracing a life-long approach to learning.

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Adjusting Your Emotions

"A couple of months ago things were so stressful at work that everyone – including me – was tense all the time. By the time I got home I was completely drained and wanted nothing more than go straight to bed."

Does the above scenario sound at least a little familiar? Can you identify with the premise if not the specific situation? If so, how long was it before your mood lifted? Did you have a serious talk with yourself, trying to convince yourself to focus on something – anything – else? Consider the last you found yourself really angry or down. When you think back on it, do you recall that your emotions slowed you down or perhaps even crippled you emotionally for days or weeks?

People always want to know if there’s a quick fix to resetting your emotional state, and the answer is yes in most cases. I know that when you’re upset it can feel like an additional challenge or effort to think happier thoughts, feel love, or experience joy. And if you can’t do those things, you often find that you end up attracting more of the same.

In 2005 the terrific book Ask and It Is Given introduced the idea of "moving up your emotional scale." The Emotional Scale, developed by authors Esther and Jerry Hicks, invites you to:

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Meeting Needs with NVC

There’s no one on the planet who hasn’t been in a situation wherein tempers and/or emotions escalated – perhaps even dramatically – due to miscommunication or poor communication. When this has happened in your own life, you’ve likely looked back on it afterwards and wondered how things got so out of control. You might even have tried to determine who was to blame fr the bad communication , or perhaps you ended up pursuing avenues of explanation that resulted in self-doubt or justifications for the communication mishap and resulting behavior.

A colleague introduced me to three levels of communication that have served as a reminder that I shouldn’t automatically accept everything I hear at face value. Given that I’d had a lifetime of communication by the time the colleague pointed this out, it’s ironic that this idea actually sounded like a new piece of information to me. The three levels of communication explain even further why we shouldn’t accept everything we hear at face value. Those levels are:

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