What's in a name?

This posting is one in which I would like to express and air my discontent regarding an issue I seem to be facing and most certainly am having challenges with. What’s in a name? It amazes me how engrained society is with names and how it is assumed and expected the wife will take the husband’s last name. More women marry later and therefore are creating an individual identity for themselves with their maiden names in business and social networks. Before Jerry and I got married envelopes were addressed to Mr. Jerry Artache and Ms. Karen Kleinwort then when Jerry and I got married everyone, business associates, family and friends, who were told I kept my maiden name got all twisted and nervous about how to address envelopes and packages now. Nothing changes regarding mailings; the government now just sees us as one entity instead of two separate individuals. The government has no question as to how to address mailings to us but society in general goes into a frenzy of ‘what now!’ When packages, cards or letters arrive I am always surprised at how people jump into the peer pressure and general society rules when addressing these communications. So to set the record straight; if you would like to send something to us you can address it to one of the following – Mr. Jerry Artache and Ms. Karen Kleinwort; Mr. Artache and Ms. Kleinwort; or The Artache & Kleinwort Family. Whenever I see an envelope addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Artache or Mr. & Mrs. Jerry Artache the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I have to take some really deep breathes to let go of the feelings my identity is slipping away. My issue … most definitely it is my issue and is one I keep working on but my individual identity is really important to me so it is one which will most likely I will work on till my last breathe in this life journey. I know my husband takes issue when something gets mailed to ‘The Kleinwort Family’ which happens from company’s who are trying to get me to buy or try their baby products. Why? Because as the man of the house it has been engrained in him that his last name is the name of the house and so everyone should just already know that but company’s only know me as my name so they are therefore jumping to the conclusion that Kleinwort is my married name and therefore the name of the household. I do my best to intercept these types of mailings because I know and understand his feelings.

Now that we have a child with a hyphenated last name I am beginning to see the frenzy swirling out of control, hair loss is on a rise and all sorts of different labels being used. When it came to naming our son the first name was easy where we came into the challenge is what would his last name be? I kept my maiden name which was already adding confusion and we settled, Jerry conceded actually – thank you honey!, to have Caden use a hyphenated last name … Artache-Kleinwort. With this added to the mix people are extra confused regarding how to send mailings. So to make life simple and everyone happy just send things to “The Artache & Kleinwort Family”; want to send something just to Caden, address it to “Caden Artache-Kleinwort,” to me? “Karen Kleinwort,” Jerry? “Jerry Artache.” Does that make things simple? Or is it still confusing?

Alright enough purging, the questions of naming I believe really come down to labels and titles for us, so what is in a name? I personally believe names are so important because society in 1st world countries tie everything about us as individuals to these labels and until recently (in respect to the calendar year timeline being 2008) women had no rights and therefore their identity was tied to that of their husbands. But now in the 21st century is it really not too much of a stretch to believe more women will want to keep their individual identities. At what point or under what circumstances would it be for the husband to take the wife’s name? I would definitely be interested in hearing other people’s thoughts on this topic.

Thanks for listening. Until next time … embrace your inner wisdom!

Namaste,
Karen