Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Divorced Parents: Friends?



I would dare to guess there isn’t a child of any age who holds the dream of his parents remaining together their entire lives. I consider myself very fortunate to have witnessed a parental marriage now lasting close to 45 years and am proud to say it doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. I also am aware of my good fortune and that there are many my age as well as older and younger who have gone through the experience of parents divorcing. At this juncture there is a percentage that holds the dream of their parents at least remaining friends, thus allowing holidays and other special events to be more amicable and pleasant. Staying friends after a divorce may be difficult, but a lot of parents try to maintain a relationship with their ex-spouses because of their children. The important question, however, is whether it is healthy for divorced parents to be friends.

In all honesty, this question can’t be answered with a simple yes or no; it all depends on the situation in which the two people find themselves and their emotional health. First let’s define friendship. In this instance we’ll refer to friendship as two individuals who can share a common space physically, emotionally and energetically while being supportive of the other individual’s personal choices and decisions. This friendship is not an intimate exchange but a human exchange. Ideally, it would be wise for divorced parents to become aware of where they are and work on improving some of the following areas (Note: this is only a partial list.) to successfully embrace and maintain a friendship.

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