Embracing Change

My husband and I took our son for his first official haircut when he was 15 months old. The trauma of the event was not significant, but the energy exchange during the event was decidedly intense. My son went from sitting on my lap and enjoying the process while my husband entertained him to the opposite end of the spectrum, screaming and struggling to be let down. As you can imagine, it was an emotional roller coaster for all three of us.

For several months I’d been hearing from various "experts" on the issue things like, "He needs a big boy haircut!" or "I love his hair; the curls are adorable," or "She’s precious! Oh, sorry! He’s so beautiful I just assumed he was a girl." Geez! So despite the fact that I loved my son’s hair longer with curls peeking out from under the cap, I knew it really was time for a haircut. Still, something inside me desperately desired to keep my son as a baby for as long as I possibly could. The haircut was representative of the first apron string to be cut.

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Perfect Moment Monday: A Bun in the Oven

My Perfect Moment for this week happened at 4:20 p.m. on Sat., March 5. There are really no words to describe this particular perfect moment, so I’ll let the video do the talking for me.

As some of you know, I am expecting our second child—a baby girl—and she is set to arrive on or around May 10. I am pleased to share with you our 3D/4D ultrasound that was done this past Saturday. It was the first time our son, who will be three in April, got to see and “meet” his new sister.

To see the video, please go here.

Until next time, embrace your inner wisdom.

Namaste,

Karen

Perfect Moment Monday: Down with the Sickness

My Perfect Moment for this week …

…is difficult to pinpoint. One rises to the top so the one glowing the brightest while looking back over the week was the moment when I made the decision to take a not just one sick day but three last week.

Nobody enjoys being sick. I know I certainly don’t like the sniffles, headaches, moodiness, congestion, etc. But last week both my toddler and I were sick with a cold. His was bad enough to keep him home from preschool for three days. These three days meant that I also was being asked to balance work with family. But half way through his first day home I was blessed with his cold when the symptoms began. I think they’re finally beginning to subside.

The perfect moment was about not just prioritizing my own health and family over work but being able to honestly acknowledge how much I enjoyed the one-on-one time with my son. Was I stressed about not working and…

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Fitness and the Working Mom

Is what seems the impossible really possible?

We are inundated with fitness tips – the quick fix, the fast track, the best diet pill – and metabolism boosters, and the hot subject lines keep on rolling. But how effective are they, and for those moms who work full or part time, how do you fit it in while keeping any sanity about yourself?

Difficult? Yes! Impossible? No! Challenging? Yes! Impractical? No!

We can banter about what excuses override the benefits till the cows come home. But in the end, it all boils down to how important being physically healthy is to you personally. This doesn’t mean being an example to other mothers or your children but rather to yourself. You’re your mental health and your longevity of life as well as the quality of life you are living.

Prioritizing physical exercise (even 15 minutes three times a week) can seem absolutely impossible to those working mothers who also act as a roller coaster behind their children all day. It doesn’t mean the fitness isn’t important to them; it shows us they put a higher value on their children than their own well-being. The fitness tips they read are not necessarily wrong; they are just not right for them. One of the challenges that exists among the mothers who have a completely scheduled calendar is that they forget to put in time for themselves BEFORE scheduling their children’s hectic schedules. It isn’t even that these moms don’t want to change their routine. Even if the changes are highly beneficial to them, they just don’t see the value in themselves great enough to make physical exercise a priority.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Baby of Mine

My Perfect Moment for this week …

...was spending 45 minutes with an ultrasound technician and my husband while she measured, zoomed in, zoomed out, and moved the wand around my abdomen, trying to keep up with the very active 21-week-old baby growing beautifully in my uterus. Needless to say, there were many perfect moments. But to name just a few: 1) watching and hearing the heart beat steadily at 130 beats per minute; 2) watching the baby flip, roll, kick and wave; and 3) finding out we will be welcoming a sister for our 2 ½-year-old son in May 2011!

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Perfect Moment Monday: On Track for the Holidays

My Perfect Moment for this week involved taking my son on the Oregon Holiday Express train. He was over the moon with excitement as we were walking up to the steam train.

A good friend of mine organized a group of us to go, and it was one of the best mornings this year—at least, that is what my son would say if you asked. We know he likes Thomas the Train and enjoys playing with his train set, but we definitely knew Saturday morning just how much he liked trains.

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Adolescence: What I Need to Know

As a mother of a toddler with friends in the adolescence stage, I often wonder what is in store for me. Adolescence is the period from 10 to 20 years of age, and this period is rightly known as a transformational period as one progresses from childhood to adulthood. As a parent I would tend to describe this phase of my child’s life as difficult, overwhelming and stressful. A little knowledge of adolescent psychology might, however, make this period easier—not just me but for you and your child. This article will focus on only two elements an adolescent might go through, and as with any transitional period in a person’s life each individual will experience something unique to himself.

Sexual Awakening
The most important aspect of adolescent psychology is perhaps the sexual awakening that accompanies this phase. A lot of parents still find it difficult to deal with the subject. However, the fact is that consciousness of one’s own sexuality and a growing interest in the opposite sex is but a natural biological aspect of this phase. It had been suggested to me—long before becoming a parent—that in order to ensure your child gets the right start regarding having a healthy outlook on sex, sexual interaction, and what is truth versus fable, it is wise to have a copy of a book on sex on the book shelf—and, yes readily available for them to thumb through.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Love in Any Language

My Perfect Moment for this week…

Growing up in Canada meant my cereal boxes were bilingual, the main road signs were bilingual, and French was one of the core curriculum subjects from third grade through to ninth grade. Having my son be at minimum bilingual is important, especially in the global village in which we live.

My family has a range of cultures. My husband is Hispanic and Spanish is his first language…

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Perfect Moment Monday: On the Road Again

Each week I hold the intention to participate in Perfect Moment Monday, sponsored by Weebles Wobblog. According to Weebles, "Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one." Here is my Perfect Moment for this week.

This week my husband, son and I are packed up in the RV and on the road for a brief family vacation at the John Day Recreation Area in Oregon's LePage State Park. The area, operated by the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers, is popular among water enthusiasts because it sits at the confluence of the Columbia and John Day Rivers and offers activities such as boating, fishing, swimming and water skiing. In addition, there's tons of trails for hike and abundant wildlife.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Three Chats, Three Generations

My perfect moment this week wasn’t just an experience; it was also an emotional realization. As long as I can remember, I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents. Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, but in the end we’ve spoken on average once a week with the longest stretch being just under a month between chats. Since my son was born, the telephone chats turned into web cam chats so they could see their grandson. I realized the enjoyment of the chats was declining as they began to take on a sense of obligation, and of course the stress of “are all grandparents being treated equally” set in about a year ago. The result was me pulling away and reprioritizing the importance of the web cam chats with my parents.

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Finding Your Balance Amidst Chaos

We have a great new blog entry about finding and maintaining your personal balance up on Beauty Forever Network. Click here to learn more about how establishing and maintaining a ritual or routine, along with regular journaling, can help you find balance.

"Hurry Up and Eat!"

“Sit down!” “Sit up!” “Don’t play with your food!” “Three more…” Ah, the mantras of a parent at mealtimes. “I don’t like that” or “I don’t want that!” combined with gestural communication such as turning away, spitting out, mouth tightly closed: these are the mantras of children at mealtimes.

Does it have to be this way? Can kids learn good table manners and to eat a wide variety of foods? The answer is a resounding YES!

Continue reading guest blogger Krista Kleinwort's words of wisdom here.

Surviving the Facts of Life

Enjoy reading today's most recent submission from guest blogger Krista Kleinwort, Parent and Behavioral Consultant:

Talking to our kids about the facts of life is both a fact of life and life of facts! As the child gets older the job becomes more daunting to the majority of mothers and outright anxiety-provoking for most fathers. It doesn’t have to be that way, though, and the earlier you start, the better.

Learning about the birds and the bees (As if these two species mate any how!) begins in the cradle. Your children learn from you...

Read more here.

The Housework Will Keep; Your Children Won't

Today's guest blogger is Krista Kleinwort, a highly respected behavioral consultant dedicated to supporting parents and professionals who have children experiencing behavioral challenges. Enjoy!

Parenting children is definitely a full-time job. Frenzied mornings, forgotten mittens, frozen tears: remnants of the frantic rush to drop off at daycare and get to work on time. Who is the parent and who is the child? Hard to tell sometimes. Working all day, picking up at daycare at night, hurried suppers and then out the door to just barely make yoga class or skating lessons. Is this the life we envisioned?

Well, naturally, it’s not exactly like life on TV is it? Picture-perfect Sunday mornings spent vacuuming, cleaning and doing laundry instead of taking advantage of the beautiful new fallen snow, all hastily fit into the few hours of nap time. Time for me and a cup of tea? Hardly! But time for you and me and cup of tea? That works.

“The housework will keep, your children won't” is a saying that has become my mantra. My little guy won't feel secure if we don’t connect with him every day. He won't keep learning if we don't read and play with him. He won't keep healthy if we don't cook for him. He won't keep friendships if we don't support him with peers. But how is a busy working mother going to accomplish this and keep a house clean enough to at least keep the dust dinosaurs at bay? (In our house the dust bunnies have been eaten by huge, dog-hair covered dust dinosaurs.)

First and foremost, organize yourself. When you do what you should do in a timely manner, your kids will fall in line because you’re ready. Plan your week ahead of time and post your schedule in a common area. We have a large black board on which I write my work schedule, including when I leave the house and return home. Think about what clothes you’ll need and when, and have them clean. Think about your kids' schedules and get their lunches, swim clothes, etc., organized the night before. Use an online family scheduling system like Cozi. (www.cozi.com).

Second, organize your house. Hire a cleaner on a weekly or monthly basis to do the cleaning you hate to do and that therefore never seems to get done. Buy some large plastic bins and organize kid clothes and sportswear, using a marker to clearly label contents. Try to avoid giving and receiving those useless gifts that collect dust; encourage family and friends to give "usefully" and ask what is wanted or needed before they buy! Purge, purge, purge! Use the 12 Month Rule: if you’ve neither worn it nor used it in 12 months, get rid of it! (Precious family mementos excluded.)

Third, give up on organizing your spouse! They have to figure out their own way, so if you can get yourself, your kids and the house organized, then three out of four ain’t bad!

As a working mother I'll take the excuse the saying offers, thank you very much, and rationalize my messy house til the sun goes down. As a professional I’ll tell myself to “practice what I preach” and make organizing myself my priority for the upcoming month, focusing on my internal and external housekeeping skills. And I'll make sure I get to my yoga classes to keep my body and mind fit while I tackle the basement, garage and the bigger picture called life.

Parenting Rule # 1: The best return on your investment is time with your children, not with the housework! Just work smart.

Parenting Challenge # 1: Focus on "soulkeeping" more than housekeeping, and spend more time with your kids every day than you do cleaning/tidying/organizing!

Recommended Book for the Month: The Secure Child: Helping Children Feel Safe and Confident in a Changing World by Stanley Greenspan