Emotional Crisis? Emotional Infidelity

When we hear the expression "infidelity" in reference to a relationship, we frequently don't even think about anything outside of a physical interaction. But emotional cheating can be as damaging to a relationship as unfaithfulness. The difficulty, though, is that unlike infidelity, emotional infidelity isn't simple to catch, confirm or even admit! Very often the majority of people aren't even conscious of the fact that they are cheating on their partner emotionally.

Emotional cheating typically starts when one develops an emotional bond with a person of the opposite sex and begins sharing more with that person then with his or her partner. These relationships may or may not lead to physical intimacy; in either of the two cases, the existing relationship of the cheater suffers.

In the majority of cases, emotional cheating begins as an innocent friendship but develops into a "more than friends" relationship without the physical intimacy. It therefore results in being simple for people to convince themselves and others that they only share a special friendship and nothing else. A person might even equate it to the sharing of information or time with that of two best friends.

With the age of technology and the ease of "meeting" new people and connecting with "old friends," it's easy to figure how sometimes people develop meaningful emotional bonds with their online acquaintances. It's this kind of emotional infidelity that's even more difficult to identify and admit. The clandestine nature of these relationships, along with the benefit of mystery the World Wide Web provides, makes the dynamic of emotional infidelity even more complex.

So how do you know whether you're cheating on your companion emotionally? The following are a few of the biggest tell-tale signs:

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Perfect Moment Monday: A Bun in the Oven

My Perfect Moment for this week happened at 4:20 p.m. on Sat., March 5. There are really no words to describe this particular perfect moment, so I’ll let the video do the talking for me.

As some of you know, I am expecting our second child—a baby girl—and she is set to arrive on or around May 10. I am pleased to share with you our 3D/4D ultrasound that was done this past Saturday. It was the first time our son, who will be three in April, got to see and “meet” his new sister.

To see the video, please go here.

Until next time, embrace your inner wisdom.

Namaste,

Karen

Perfect Moment Monday: Down with the Sickness

My Perfect Moment for this week …

…is difficult to pinpoint. One rises to the top so the one glowing the brightest while looking back over the week was the moment when I made the decision to take a not just one sick day but three last week.

Nobody enjoys being sick. I know I certainly don’t like the sniffles, headaches, moodiness, congestion, etc. But last week both my toddler and I were sick with a cold. His was bad enough to keep him home from preschool for three days. These three days meant that I also was being asked to balance work with family. But half way through his first day home I was blessed with his cold when the symptoms began. I think they’re finally beginning to subside.

The perfect moment was about not just prioritizing my own health and family over work but being able to honestly acknowledge how much I enjoyed the one-on-one time with my son. Was I stressed about not working and…

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Fitness and the Working Mom

Is what seems the impossible really possible?

We are inundated with fitness tips – the quick fix, the fast track, the best diet pill – and metabolism boosters, and the hot subject lines keep on rolling. But how effective are they, and for those moms who work full or part time, how do you fit it in while keeping any sanity about yourself?

Difficult? Yes! Impossible? No! Challenging? Yes! Impractical? No!

We can banter about what excuses override the benefits till the cows come home. But in the end, it all boils down to how important being physically healthy is to you personally. This doesn’t mean being an example to other mothers or your children but rather to yourself. You’re your mental health and your longevity of life as well as the quality of life you are living.

Prioritizing physical exercise (even 15 minutes three times a week) can seem absolutely impossible to those working mothers who also act as a roller coaster behind their children all day. It doesn’t mean the fitness isn’t important to them; it shows us they put a higher value on their children than their own well-being. The fitness tips they read are not necessarily wrong; they are just not right for them. One of the challenges that exists among the mothers who have a completely scheduled calendar is that they forget to put in time for themselves BEFORE scheduling their children’s hectic schedules. It isn’t even that these moms don’t want to change their routine. Even if the changes are highly beneficial to them, they just don’t see the value in themselves great enough to make physical exercise a priority.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Thanking Employees

My Perfect Moment for this week included the company of some wonderful friends and watching my husband be a shining example of what makes not just a good leader but a great leader. Every year my husband likes to acknowledge those who work for him. He realizes that saying “thank you” throughout the year means a lot to motivating his employees, but he chooses to show them by inviting them over to our home for dinner twice a year. For some individuals this seems like he is going over the top to show his gratitude and that it is a lot to ask of me to host with him. In reality, I fully support this show of gratitude and really enjoy socializing with these individuals.

This past Saturday was for those who report directly to him and was a celebration of 2010: the successes, the challenges, the laughs and the frustrations. My husband, Jerry, puts a lot of thought into the evening; the gift bags they each receive are meant for not just the employee but are meant to be shared with their supporting spouses. Jerry recognizes that for his employees to truly give their all at work, their spouses or partners play key roles and therefore are not just invited but are part of his decision regarding the theme of the gift bag. This year we did “martini” themed gift bags. The idea was to provide each of his employees the opportunity to celebrate one evening with their partners a successful day.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Baby of Mine

My Perfect Moment for this week …

...was spending 45 minutes with an ultrasound technician and my husband while she measured, zoomed in, zoomed out, and moved the wand around my abdomen, trying to keep up with the very active 21-week-old baby growing beautifully in my uterus. Needless to say, there were many perfect moments. But to name just a few: 1) watching and hearing the heart beat steadily at 130 beats per minute; 2) watching the baby flip, roll, kick and wave; and 3) finding out we will be welcoming a sister for our 2 ½-year-old son in May 2011!

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Perfect Moment Monday: On Track for the Holidays

My Perfect Moment for this week involved taking my son on the Oregon Holiday Express train. He was over the moon with excitement as we were walking up to the steam train.

A good friend of mine organized a group of us to go, and it was one of the best mornings this year—at least, that is what my son would say if you asked. We know he likes Thomas the Train and enjoys playing with his train set, but we definitely knew Saturday morning just how much he liked trains.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Freedom Isn’t Free

My Perfect Moment for this week was having the freedom to spend Thanksgiving not only in a state of gratitude but in my home with my son and husband.

For some this may come as a given, and for others it might be overstating the obvious. But for more than just a few, it’s a luxury they wish they could be experiencing.

I say this because a friend of ours has been deployed to Iraq. His daughter is the same age as my son, and he will be gone for almost 15 months. Even though Thanksgiving Day was spent hanging out and literally doing nothing but…

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Perfect Moment Monday: Family Forever

My Perfect Moment for this week …

…was spending my birthday with my two special guys: my husband and son.

It wasn’t as though we did anything super special, or that it was a day filled with going here, there or anywhere. We spent the day, just the three of us, hanging out and spending some wonderful quality time as a family—which of course includes our two dogs.

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Perfect Moment Monday: The Simplest Things

My Perfect Moment for this week …

…was quite simply becoming conscious of full my life has become.

The moment was Saturday evening. My husband and I were sitting on the couch with our two year old sitting between us. On my left was our dog Aine, curled up with her head on my lap. And on my husband’s right…

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Perfect Moment Monday: Flying High

My Perfect Moment for this week…

Today my Perfect Moment is actually happening on a Monday! My father arrived for a visit from Canada last week, and today he and I took my son Caden to Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum.

Going to the Evergreen Museum is a treat all by itself (It's even home to the internationally known Spruce Goose!) since it's full of stories about history and heroics....

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Perfect Moment Monday: Of RVs and Memories

My Perfect Moment for this week…

This past week I was fortunate enough to have my best friend visiting from Vancouver, BC. She and her nine-year-old son spent the week camping with us in Pacific City, OR. Beautiful!

We were able to spend a lot of time chatting, sharing stories and watching our two boys playing and interacting—similar to what we could expect two siblings to be doing. The weather was wonderful, with only one day of rain. For us, fortune was staying in an RV and having a portable DVD player along with GameBoys for each.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Music to My Ears

My Perfect Moment for this week …

As a child taking piano lessons I enjoyed the social element it brought each week. My first piano teacher lived on a farm where she had goats, chickens, dogs and, well, just about anything else a person who wanted to be living off the land would have. My sister and I took lessons back to back: 30 minutes each for an hour a week. We also had two other sets of friends (two sisters and a brother/sister combo) that took lessons from the same teacher. Each week she would hold a group music therapy session where the six of us would work through work books of music reading/writing exercises. These normally would happen between our family hour-long lessons. The benefit? There was always someone to play with around the farm while you waited for your lesson.

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Perfect Moment Monday: On the Road Again

Each week I hold the intention to participate in Perfect Moment Monday, sponsored by Weebles Wobblog. According to Weebles, "Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one." Here is my Perfect Moment for this week.

This week my husband, son and I are packed up in the RV and on the road for a brief family vacation at the John Day Recreation Area in Oregon's LePage State Park. The area, operated by the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers, is popular among water enthusiasts because it sits at the confluence of the Columbia and John Day Rivers and offers activities such as boating, fishing, swimming and water skiing. In addition, there's tons of trails for hike and abundant wildlife.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Gratitude

Each week I hold the intention to participate in Perfect Moment Monday, sponsored by Weebles Wobblog. According to Weebles, Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Here is my Perfect Moment for this week.

I have to admit this week is a week filled with many perfect moments, and I have be struggling since yesterday—Monday—with which one to choose and share with you all. So to ease my stress regarding trying to choose just one, then I will just take this time to share my gratitude for being able to truly co-create my life.

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Perfect Moment Monday: Father and Son

Father’s Day came without much to-do in our home yesterday. My husband’s day started off with golfing with three good friends—all of whom are fathers—before he came home to do a bit of yard play and was able to then spend an enjoyable five hours playing with our son. The picture I’m sharing was taken a few weeks ago on a camping trip with friends when the “boys” were playing lacrosse with my son’s first set of lacrosse sticks...

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Perfect Moment Monday: A Dog Gone Delight

Each week Sheri Fisher, one of our expert panel members, posts a “Perfect Moment Monday”—and I have decided to jump on board and follow her amazing lead. It is my intention to participate in Perfect Moment Monday, sponsored by Weebles Wobblog. According to Weebles, “Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect Moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.” And so, here is my Perfect Moment for this week.

I have two large dogs—both weighing in above 80 pounds—and one toddler weighing in at a mere 30 pounds, so I have often wondered how they will play together. The answer came when we finally enjoyed a full day of warm weather here Oregon this past Saturday.

Our one dog Aine, named after the Celtic Goddess Aine, loves water. The chasing of the hose started when she was a pup chasing the sprinklers as they rotated; this transitioned into chasing the garden hose while we held it and sprayed the water for her to chase. Saturday was finally warm enough to get the Whale Water Sprinkler out for our son...

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